When I sat down to write I Give My Heart to You, I couldn’t help but reflect on all the relationships I’d been in up to that point. You see, none of my relationships had lasted more than two years. Looking back, I can see that part of the reason for that was my lack of self-love. I’d often fall into limerence—a state where I was more infatuated with the idea of the person than who they really were. As I mentioned in my last story Inside Out, I had a lot of personal growth to do.
Some of those men I had no business being with. A couple of them were liars, stringing me along with sweet words I desperately wanted to hear. But as much as I could point the finger at them, I had to take responsibility too. The common denominator in all of these relationships was me. I was giving my heart away—too quickly, too trustingly—without protecting myself or recognizing the red flags early on.
As I sat down to write the song, I remembered something my Aunt Deborah once told me: “Guard your heart.” At the time, I didn’t fully understand what she meant, and even today, I’m not sure I got a clear answer.
How do you guard your heart when love is all you’ve ever wanted? I have always given everything in my relationships—physically, emotionally, spiritually—so the lyrics I wrote came straight from that place of vulnerability:
“Baby, I gave my heart to you, can’t you see? / Why do we play these games? / Darlin’, what do you want from me? / It is yours—I give my heart to you.”
That’s how I felt in every relationship I had. No matter the obstacles or warning signs, I was always quick to give my heart, hoping that love would be enough to overcome everything else. But it rarely was.
The Heartbreak That Broke Me Open
There was one relationship that changed me more than any other. For the sake of privacy, I’ll call him Anthony. I met him on a Friday night at Club Temple in Detroit. He was tall, dark, and handsome—a Capricorn, nearly a decade older than me, and a former military man. We clicked instantly. It wasn’t just attraction; there was something magnetic between us that pulled us together, like two puzzle pieces finally finding their match.
When he asked if he could buy me a drink, I accepted—a rare occurrence for me because I usually like to dance solo and keep my distance. I ordered a Tequila Sunrise, and he got a gin and tonic. This wasn’t a one-night stand situation. We exchanged numbers and, a few days later, I invited him over to my place for dinner. After a home-cooked meal, one thing led to another, and we ended up making love on my living room floor.
At the time, I thought we were perfect for each other. I remember thinking back to those early moments with him when everything felt so easy. I often wondered if he really loved me, or if I was just caught up in the illusion of it all. It made me think of the lyrics I would later write:
“I woke up in a bad mood this morning, can’t stop thinking about you every waking moment. I often wonder if you really did love me, I know sometimes that it was not so easy.”
Our chemistry was undeniable, but it turned out that Anthony had a complicated life. He had a son, which he didn’t tell me about right away. When he did, he explained that he and the mother had an arrangement—she knew he was gay but had agreed to give him a child. It seemed like a dream at first, but slowly, cracks began to appear in our relationship.
I bought him expensive flowers and even a special Waterford crystal vase to keep them in. I was giving all of myself to this relationship, thinking that my love and effort would be enough to keep us together. But as the song says:
“If we just took a little more time / Just holdin’ hands, no fussin’, no fightin’, just romancin’…”
I soon learned there were four people in our relationship—me, Anthony, the mother of his child, and his married boyfriend. I had no idea at first, but when Anthony’s baby mama confronted him about us, it became clear that his life was far messier than I could have ever imagined. He was juggling me, the mother of his child, and this married man all at once.
The Unraveling
One night, the baby’s mother showed up at his apartment unannounced, banging on the door while I was there with the child. The situation escalated fast. She started yelling, accusing Anthony of things I had no idea about. It ended with her screaming that Anthony was sleeping with a married man. I was floored. I had given everything to this relationship—my time, my heart, my finances—only to find out I was being played the entire time.
There’s a line in the song that captures the pain I felt during this time:
“Baby, I gave my heart to you, can’t you see? Why do we play these? What do you want from me? It’s yours—I give my heart to you.”
As the relationship continued to crumble, Anthony asked me to meet the married man. I reluctantly agreed. When we met, he pulled out a gun, telling me not to worry. He wasn’t going to hurt me, as long as I didn’t “try anything.” I was shocked, but I stayed calm, realizing that I had put myself in a very dangerous situation.
The drama didn’t end there. I started missing work because of the stress and emotional toll the relationship was taking on me. Eventually, I lost my job due to poor attendance. My heart was shattered, my finances were drained, and my life was spiraling out of control.
The Turning Point
It took me a long time to finally walk away from that relationship. I had invested so much of myself that I didn’t know how to let go. But I had to. I realized that loving someone doesn’t mean sacrificing your own well-being. I had been neglecting myself for far too long, always putting Anthony’s needs and problems before my own.
When I wrote I Give My Heart to You, it was a reflection of everything I had gone through—the highs, the lows, the love, and the heartbreak. The lyrics came from a place of deep vulnerability and raw emotion:
“There is something that you should know / Never stopped loving you / I carry a torch for you / I promise that this is true.”
I know now that love should never require losing yourself. It should be mutual, healthy, and balanced. This song became my way of processing all the hurt and growth I’d experienced. It’s a reminder to protect my heart while still being open to love.
Sub-note: While recording I Give My Heart to You, I realize now that I didn’t give it my all, as a song like this truly deserves. I plan to rerecord the track and give it the depth and emotion it needs. I will rerelease it on my upcoming album, The Erogenous Zone.
English
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